Laughter - God's Gift!

It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either. ~Wayne Dyer

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.
~ Victor Hugo

Laughter is a very serious matter. We don’t realize how important laughter is in life! Our culture does not honor humor. We are so serious, we forgo the seriousness of laughter. To be an adult does not mean you have to be serious about everything. Young people know how to laugh and have some serious fun but once they get older and get married with kids, suddenly, everything is hyper serious and laughter seems to be a thing of the past. And such people become angry old gramps, while kids grow up to be unbalance and unhappy as their parents. Don’t we all enjoy a good laugh? I mean can you imagine a life without any laughter? 

When you watch kids, they laugh at anything and find things to laugh about in any situation. I remember reading same bedtime stories to my kids each night; but it never failed to make my kids laugh... over and over again! I read that children laugh over 300 times a day when adults laugh less than 15 times! 15? What happens to us when we grow up? Perhaps adults are too serious to have a sense of humor. 

Laughter has many levels. Some laughters are an inward smile you keep to yourself... it’s a private matter. A tender smile to a baby or your loved ones. Laughter can be polite too - to uplift someone. Remember the awful jokes your folks told? The one that made no sense at all... often brought awkward moments? Still you smiled anyways, because you did not want him to feel bad!

I heard recently that there are groups of people gathering together for the sole purpose of laughing out loud; and this activity is called laughing yoga! All of us ought to try it someday.

Here are some benefits of laughter:

• Lowers blood pressure
• Increase vascular blood flow and oxygenation of the blood
• Give a workout to the diaphragm and abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg and back muscles
• Reduce certain stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline
• Increase the response of tumor and disease killing cells
• Defend against respiratory infections
• Increase memory and learning; in a study at Johns Hopkins University Medical School, humor during instruction lead to increased test scores
• Improve alertness, creativity, and memory

[http://www.care2.com/greenliving/8-health-benefits-of-laughter.html]

Remember life is meant to be enjoyed in Jesus, no matter what our circumstances are. If you are able to laugh at any situation, you’ll most likely do well in all situations. We should not take life too seriously. Hold it loosely, it belongs to God anyways. So enjoy! And one of the best way to enjoy the beauty of life is to laugh... a lot! So laugh! Laughter is one of the best ways to be present - to be in the moment at all times. So let us laugh! Tell a joke! Make someone laugh. Hear a funny story and laugh with someone! Try it today. And when you find yourself frustrated, angry, anxious...etc., this week, remember, Jesus loves you... so smile and laugh a bit! It’s God’s gift to you and I. Besides I bet you’ll feel a lot better when you smile and laugh! 

“Enjoy your life. No matter how hard it may seem, when life gives you a thousand reasons to cry, show the world you have a million reasons to smile!” ~ unknown

Don't Be a Crab

In our Wednesday DT 1 [disciple training], we shared about speaking words that edify, words that will encourage and lift others up with positive attitudes and determination.

People say that a picture is worth 1000 words but pictures never cause revolutions. But with a little over 100 words, Lincoln stirred up our nation to fight against slavery, which eventually led to emancipation! Martin Luther King Jr., with words, caused a nation to start a revolution against racism and unequal treatment towards minorities. Words are powerful. In fact how we use words will often speak greatly about the type of person we are. Words often determine the destiny of a person. So use good words, words that edify, words that build up and lift up... it’ll certainly make an impact in you!

But sometimes it’s not about you but it’s about those who surround you! Have you been surrounded by people who suck energy out of you? Negative people who kill all your dreams and pour water over your fire? People who are always thinking about all that could go wrong; those who always identify problems with your dream with no solutions to share... do you know anyone? Are you that person?

A while back ago, I remember a conference speaker saying, “If you want to be a turkey hang out with turkeys but if you want to be an eagle, you gotta hang out with eagles.” It’s humorous but true. In fact, those around us inevitably influence us to become like them. So I often suggest the Pareto principle which is often referred to as 80/20 rule. In the business world it’s often refer to mean 20% of people do the 80% of work. But in a relationship what you want to do is to spend 80% of your time with those who will lift you up, edify you, dream with you, run with you...etc. But with the remaining 20% of time, you minister to those who need extra grace! Why because you need the 80% to feed you so you can give the energy necessary to the people who need extra grace! 

Have you noticed how successful people often surround themselves with positive, enthusiastic, and other successful people? They surround themselves with high energy people who believe in them. And when you do the same, it’ll generate energy and creativity and the belief that anything is possible... and it is. You see, the people you surround yourself with does matter. Your friends reflect the type of person you are and it points to the kind of person you will become. And you will be limited by the attitudes and beliefs that are declared around you. They will hold you back. And YOU will eventually become like them!

Now you may say, "but I know people who are successful in light of those around them." That shows that this person has put tremendous effort on their part and these folks surrounding them will not think about their sweat and blood but rather they’ll say, “You struck it lucky.” They will try and bring you down... fast... it’s in their nature.

Next time you are at a local fish market check out the crab barrel. Owners never put a lid on it because if one crab tries to crawl out, the others will grab onto it and drag it down! That’s what negative attitude does to you and me... and the world is full of it. The question is are we the type of people who drag others down? Jesus said that we are to be light of the world and to treat others with kindness and goodness. "Think of others better than yourselves" says Apostle Paul. There is a tremendous call for  the followers of Jesus to lift others up so that they can become what God has envisioned them to become. There is hope in that. And hope gives us strength to cope with anything... in fact I realize that people can come out of anything if they have a strong support system around them. Paul says that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. All things? Yes, all things. That applies to me? Absolutely!

Someone once said to become the change you are looking for! May you add and infuse joy in others. May the words coming out of your beautiful mouth encourage and spur others up to pursue a life of passion in Christ Jesus. And as you stir others up for the glory of God, you will realize you are changing for the better as well. May our growth groups be filled with encouragement and edification regardless of the circumstances because we believe in the God who believes in us! DC you are the best. Blessings. ~ P. Sam

Honesty...

Have you noticed how many people stand on the stage of the American Idol reality TV show ? Do you see what I see? It’s interesting and sad to note that many of them are convinced they are the best singers in the world when everyone else knows that they can’t sing if their life depended on it! The tragedy of modern people is that they do not have people in their lives who love them enough to tell them the truth; to be frank and open with them; to be honest with them. Everyone is aware of what needs to be said but no one has the courage or enough love to share with them. So year after year, they go on without anyone sharing what needs to be told. The Bible says to speak the truth in love [Ephesians 4:15]. An honest answer is the sign of a true friendship. That’s fellowship. In the end, people appreciate honesty over flattery. Healthy relationships are built on honesty rather than false pretense.

Do you have someone who will tell you that you have a blind spot? I mean do you have someone who loves you and cares for you enough to point out what everyone else can see but you can’t? If you want to grow spiritually, you definitely need someone like that in your life. You won’t grow without them. Why? Because healthy relationships allow expressions of frustrations, bitterness, anger and all sorts of closed up emotional baggage that lives within us.

Some may say, “We don’t want any anger in our group. We want it to be nice.” If this happens, you’ll never get to the real issues because no one is willing to express deep felt feeling and sometimes that feeling is anger. Other times, it’s guilt. As your pastor, I wish I can only share nice things with you, but as I had to last week, we had to deal with some stuff. Why because my love for you demands that I am honest with you and be able to share things that may be difficult to hear at times. And as your pastor, I am saying it’s okay to express anger in your group. It’s the only way we are going to grow together. In fact, conflict is your friend in growing deeper relationships. There is no such thing as intimacy without going through the door of frustration and conflict. When you go through the conflict door, everything in your body will say “don’t do it! Go around it!” Bit if you want to leave fake, tireless accolades behind to find real deep Christ Centered relationships, you must enter this door. When you take real issues of life into a fake and shallow community, people get upset. And people start to cover things up to remedy the issues not by dealing with them but by sweeping them under the carpet. And the group will remain fake and phony. But if you’ll stay in it and go through it with love and gentleness, this door of conflict is where the relationships are built!

Bible says that iron sharpens iron [Proverbs 27:17]. There are sparks flying when an iron hits another iron as it tries to mold and shape each other. There is no growing and molding when those sparks are absent. Likewise, there is no deep relationships without conflict because we are human beings who all have our own opinions. And when we care deeply about something we are going to butt heads; if not, that means we are not really sharing anything deeply rooted in us. People are scared to death by conflict so we try to avoid it so nothing ever gets resolved, nobody grows, and we just are...

Loving honestly is an evidence of care. If you don’t care, you don’t say anything. Proverbs 27:5 | 5 Better to correct someone openly than to let him think you don't care for him at all.

This is why getting together in growth groups is so important. Remember few weeks ago we said that number one need in developing deep relationship is frequency. That is the first building block. Why? Because if you don’t spend enough time together you can’t build any trust. And if you don’t build trust, you can’t ever be honest with them. You can’t be honest with anyone you just see once a week or once a while. You can’t deal gut level issues when you are just acquaintance. You have to earn the right to be frank. And that happens over time!

THREE RULES FOR BEING HONEST WITH SOMEONE:

1. Praise Publicly but Correct Privately.I don’t care if it’s your kids, your wife or someone in your group. Compliment and praise in public, correct in private.
2. Correct when they are up and not when they are down.
   You don’t hit a person when they’re down, when they’re emotionally low. You don’t correct right after your husband/wife had a hard day. You don’t correct when your kids are just about to hit the sack. Ask God for wisdom so your timing is correct! Sometimes, in correcting, timing is everything.
   
3. Never offer correction until you’ve proven  you’re open to it yourself.
   I mean you have no right to correct anyone until you have proven that you are open to it yourself. That’s why humility, which we talked about before, comes before honesty! You’ve got to be open to it first.

”Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword, but wisely spoken words can heal.”  The Bible tells us in Galatians 6:1 “Brothers and sisters, if someone in your group says something wrong, you who are spiritual should go to that person and gently help them make it right again.”