Love Your Wife

A kindergarten teacher asked his students, “What is the strongest and fiercest animal?”
All the students shouted in unison, “Lion!”
“Then what do lions fear the most,” their teacher asked.
As the kids contemplated on the answer, one of the students shouted, “The lioness!”
“Why the lioness?” asked the teacher.
The student replied, “Well, the king of my house is my dad, but the one he fears the most is mom!”

What I noticed over the years in marriage is that people plan for their wedding day months ahead. For some women, they think and ponder about their wedding day all their life. They dream of their “happily ever after”. But rarely, have I encountered couples who think to plan for the day after their wedding. There's lots of strategy laid out for the wedding day but none for the day after.

Couples need strategy. Husbands need strategy to make their wives holy and beautiful before Jesus. Wives need strategy to help their husbands live out their passion with courage.

“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

Make up your mind to be happy together. Have a strategy that will get you there!

Strategies for Wives:

1. Serve Your Husband Like a King
   You might be thinking, “What? No way!” But think about it. If you serve your husband like a king, you become a queen. But if you treat your husband like a pauper, you are a pauper’s wife.
   
   The Bible says that Sarah called her husband Abraham “Lord”. Now this does not mean you become his slave. No, you become his helper for that is the original intention of God towards women; to help men become all they can be! Treat him like a VIP!
2. Fan the Flame in Your Husband’s Heart
   Men give up their life for vision and purpose. If they see something worth dying for, they will jump right in. Men will give up their lives for their families. Ladies, if you pour into their heart reasons and motives to live with passion, they will go all out for you and for your children. Take care of your husband like a child from head to toe! Otherwise their hearts will grow stale and indifferent.
3. Praise Your Husband
   I once read a woman said this to her peers, “Turn in your pink slip if you are not praising your husband.” Her point was that a wife who does not praise her husband is not worthy to have the husband whom God has appointed to her.
   
   Make a habit of praising your husband. Form a habit and later that habit will form you. Life is a continuation of habits. What we say is often out of habit. Praise is also a habit. Form a good habit to say good things to your husband and your children. Husbands will live in strength and passion when they eat your praise each day! Try it and see if I am wrong!
   

Strategies for Husbands:

1. Show Love
   Men are ambitious creatures. Women are loving creatures. Women do not overcome loneliness as men overcome loneliness. Women “wither” inside when love is not received. So Paul writes in Ephesians 5, “Love your wife!” Your love must be shown! Love must show up in your words, in your hearts, and in your actions.
   
   If your wife gives you a death stare, kiss her eyes. If she gives you pouted lips, kiss her lips. If she turns her back to you, hug her back! Become a strong yet soft, steady yet flexible husband.
   
   Here is the full verse to the husbands from Ephesians 5:25: “Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” In other words, just as Christ died for the church so husbands are called to die for their wives! And the only way to die for her is to die to yourself! 
2. Become Her Friend
   Over the years I realized that what moves people is not how much you know! People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you love and care for them. Speak to her as an equal. Speak to her with tenderness. Speak to her with love. Lead her gently. Lead her to peace. You are the head of the family. You are called to lead your family; not as a dictator but as a God-fearing, God-loving person. So this calls for you to walk intimately with Jesus so that His love can pour out through you.
   
   When you stand before God some day, God will not ask your wife concerning the state of your family. The responsibility of a good family is directly given to the husbands. You are responsible for the spiritual, emotional, intellectual and physical temperature of your family. 
   
   Become a warm, understanding, fun person... like her friend.
   
   Happiness is not elusive. God desires for each one of us to be happy. And happiness is only possible in Him! So plunge into the vastness of God for in His presence are pleasures forever!

Let me end with the following quote:
 “People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.  If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.  For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” ~ Mother Teresa

** Singles may think, this article does not concern them but I beg to differ. Often singles look for people who are better than them. They are looking for someone who will “complete” them. But the key to finding a right person is to become the kind of person you want to attract! Opposites attract people say! That may be true but similarities keep people together! Instead of spending all your energy trying to find someone, spend the energy in becoming a man/woman of God! Blessings!